This day, this fourth day, turned out to be the most difficult. I have no explanation, possible or confirmed, to help me understand why.
My intestines decided to join the party and make their objections heard, felt, etc. Imodium helped but I didn’t take it proactively, so I suffered more than I needed to.
I’ve started to lose saliva as well as taste, which means food won’t go down without help. Several times during this round so far, I have had to stop eating and gulp down water to get something unstuck from my esophagus. Those meals ended up being mostly water instead of food, leaving my stomach unsatisfied and sloshy.
The nerve pain has settled into my lower back, right above my tailbone, and down the long muscles on the front of my thighs. Every once in a while, the nerves will fire and squeeze – they squeeze hard and hold. The pain and corresponding unsteadiness are like nothing I’ve ever felt.
The nausea has also intensified in a tricksy sort of way: it feels just enough like hunger pangs mixed with gas that I have had trouble interpreting the signals. This time around, I’ve had the unpleasant, alarming experience of thinking I was hungry, eating a meal that tasted okay, and realizing my stomach really wanted to be left alone.
All of these developments have changed my strategy a bit. Next time I go through this first week post-treatment, I will take more Imodium on a schedule on the assumption that my intestines will revolt. I’ll add more liquid to my diet overall to give my throat a break: soft foods, soups, smoothies, protein shakes. I’ll mix up a big supply of ‘stomach water’ (clean water mixed with honey, stored in a carafe with muddled mint leaves) and sip it constantly instead of plain water and/or Gatorade. Finally, once post-treatment is done, I’m going to stay on the Compazine a little longer and binge on as many B vitamin-rich foods as I can stand.
Most importantly, I’m going to ask my doctors if they have any further advice. The worst they can say is, “No, there are no resources or alternatives, you’re stuck,” and thus far that hasn’t happened.
Onwards.
medicinal sausage 