I am only a week and a half out from my last chemo infusion. I’m still gripped by insomnia, nausea, heartburn, and random twanging neuropathic pain. Yet I feel … better.
For one thing, it’s solidly April. Today it is sunny, the birds have a coffee klatch going in the big tree, and it will be warm enough for me to open the house. The cats are going to get their first whiff of spring, go all wide-eyed, and lose their damn minds galloping from windowsill to windowsill. It’s one of my favorite springtime moments and I’m un-foggy enough to appreciate it.
Also, if everything goes to plan, I never have to have another chemo treatment again. Ever. Finis. Finished. Done. I should step on a scale to see the number that pops up, because I feel lighter – physically lighter – as if subconscious stress has mass and I’ve shed some.
Finally, I have some writing work to do and I cannot articulate what a difference that makes. Writing this blog helped to keep my higher brain functions active, but having deadlines and other external goals around something not cancer-related has turned on all the lights again. I’m so grateful to find that brainy/dorky/creative aspect of me has survived more or less intact, and that it is ready to reengage.
I’m still me. Thank. The. Goddess.
medicinal sausage 