My oncology nurse said the chemo side effects last for about two months after the final infusion, so consider this entry a sort of mid-season finale: I’m two weeks out and a total mixed bag of side effects.
The neuropathy has disappeared so I don’t wobble on the stairs. The temperature swings are almost gone, too, though I wish the ($&*%^! Boston weather would warm up and stop giving me legitimate chills. I’m reasonably sure the mental fog is gone as well; I don’t have that frustrating sense of knowing a word but not being able to retrieve it.
Other people can see my improvement, too: namely, my eyebrows and eyelashes are coming back in. They itch like crazy but even short and stubbly, they make my face look recognizably mine again. The steroid puffiness has gone down substantially also, so I can wear pants with zippers and my favorite rings. My face, my hands, and my legs are all mine.
Now that I’m done with the Taxol, my hair is growing back as well. The white ones are coming in stick-straight, the darker ones are springy corkscrews, and together they’ve created a nice plush fuzz all over my scalp. I know that Dash is enjoying it. During the day he hops up on the back of the couch and rubs his whole body against the nape of my neck. During the night he will drape a front leg over my forehead and groom me with slow luxurious affection – rasp, rasp, rasp – while he purrs.
I do still have random nausea and gastrointestinal mayhem. Translated: I continue to be locked into a precisely-timed regimen of phone alarms and handfuls of pills. The absolute worst, though, is the lack of contiguous sleep. My brain might be coming back online but without seven to eight hours a night, my emotional fuse keeps getting shorter. This morning, I had a passionate argument with Steve about a mop. A mop. Maybe someday we’ll laugh about that as just another absurdity, but right now I feel one inch tall.
I suppose, in summary, I’m growing impatient. If radiation really isn’t as bad as chemo, if I’m only going to keep feeling better, then let’s get on with it already. I want to wake up feeling rested, put on a sundress, and walk to the coffee shop with a smile on my face. Weather permitting, is that really too much to ask?
medicinal sausage 